| xxCathleen Miller's | A Grand Tour |
xMiller
To Go... |
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July 2003: The last time I visited France was on a trip with my husband ten years ago, and frankly I didn’t care if I ever came back. Before I left San Francisco in 1993, I had heard the stories of how the French disliked Americans. I silently rebutted these arguments, thinking: the French don’t like ugly Americans, the ones who arrive demanding a Big Mac and Budweiser in a voice like a sonic boom. However, I will be charming, parlezing le français, and will no doubt be greeted like a long lost sister in the City of Light. I had been preparing for a Paris excursion since my youth, when I took four semesters of French in college. However, in the years that slipped by after graduation, le français went the way of my encyclopaedic knowledge of world history and geometric theorems. It was still stored on my hard drive, but I no longer had access to that computer. To prepare for my trip I brushed up on the essentials by listening to tapes and practicing at home. “Garçon, encore bouteille de vin, s’il vous plaît!” I felt assured that I would be able to conduct my business in the local dialect. In Paris my efforts were greeted by a fleet of hostile waiters; their expressions of pain during our conversations were either evidence of a virulent disdain for my mangling of their native tongue, or they were wincing at twinges from a recent haemorrhoid surgery that had left them unfit for their chosen profession. I don’t think it was the latter, however, or else the city was experiencing an epidemic crise de haemorrhoid. At one posh St. Germain des Prés restaurant I looked around to discover that I was seated upstairs in a section that was solely American. We had been ghettoised. The French dined downstairs, their appetites unaffected by the conversations of the Manglers. In frustration Kerby and I headed south to Beaune, where an encounter with a waitress had me sobbing to the manager as the whole restaurant looked on. And in Châteauneuf-de-Pape I was inexplicably chased out of an auberge by a chef with a butcher knife. Needless to say,
when Maureen Wheeler invited the Wild Writing Women to join her in
the South of France, I was somewhat leery. And I wondered if I received
such a warm welcome in 1993, what would be waiting for me during a
time when anti-American feelings were at an all-time high? Personally
I agreed with Chirac’s attitude toward the U.S. invasion of Iraq,
but how was I going to convey that fact? On a t-shirt emblazoned: Don’t
blame me, I didn’t vote for Bush? Only the promise of a week
with Maureen and the WWW on the Cote d’Azur got me across the
French border. Alas I had not undergone a similar transformation. I landed in France last month sounding more like I had just emerged from the caves at Lascaux rather than a 747. “Me want food. Me want wine. Hmmm, me like red wine….” I was greeted by friendly, smiling staff at a variety of establishments, who chipped in and helped me out in English on the rare moment when my French wasn’t up to, say, critiquing various vintages of Bordeaux. Ironically, I discovered a kinder, gentler France. Maybe they feel that any current tourists are “the good Americans,” those who support their political position, as opposed to the ugly Americans they’ve seen on TV boycotting French chèvres and pouring Bordeauxs down the drain. (Alert! Don’t do this! Send any offending French wines to Mme. Cathleen Miller, c/o French Wine Rescue, Paris France.) According to an
American friend living in Paris, the French are not anti-American,
simply anti-U.S. government, a sentiment I’ve heard echoed over
and over again throughout Europe. They look at the imperialistic tactics
of the Bush administration and wonder where they’re going to
end. I assured them that many of us are asking the same question. Our villa was close to the village of Le Lavandou, a part of the coast frequented mainly by French and German tourists coming to swim in the Mediterranean; in fact we didn’t encounter any other Americans during our week there, but still a couple of restaurants had helpfully translated their dinner menus. One was obviously done by someone with a grasp of English nearly equal to my heady knowledge of French. A dish was advertised as: Salad of small goats run through the furnace. The result of my return visit is one nobody could have predicted: Kerby and I have decided to spend the summer in Paris. Lord knows what type of international incidents we’ll manage to provoke, but at least now we’ll have fun being part of café society. |
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