No. 5

For some women, (and maybe some men too) walking into a nice restaurant alone is daunting. Many choose to either eat in a small café with a good book or order up room service and watch TV. But just because you are alone doesn't mean you have to pass up the fun and excitement of dining in a famous or highly-rated restaurant. When I'm traveling solo my dinner is usually my evening's entertainment. After a full day of sightseeing, I return to my room and take a nap, then bathe and dress for the evening. I've found that feeling refreshed and well-dressed gives me the confidence to dine alone and feel at ease in foreign surroundings.

If I don't have a particular restaurant in mind, I will choose a lively neighborhood of the city and wander the streets checking out the dining establishments. I look at the posted menus to examine the prices and see if the food seems tempting. Next I will watch who is going in and coming out of the place, and maybe even take a quick peek inside to see if it is inviting. Sometimes I wind up circling back to one of the places I considered on the first pass. And sometimes I'm simply charmed into a restaurant immediately.

In all my dining experiences in Europe, I have never, ever been treated badly just because I was dining solo. The maïtre d's usually always seat me in the center of the dining room, never hidden away in a back corner by the service area. By putting me in the middle of the action they are assured I will be taken care of and entertained by the goings-on around me.

The tables in Europe are traditionally very close together. This makes striking up a conversation with one's neighbors easy, and I've met some interesting people this way. One time in Venice I met the owner of a glass-blowing shop, and at his encouragement, visited the shop the next day. I wound up buying a beautiful hand-blown, made-to-order chandelier for my dressing room at a vastly reduced price. On a trip to France, I was eating alone at a terrace café in a small town on the Riviera, and heard American voices. I turned around and saw two women whom I recognized as staying at my hotel. We started talking and wandered along the quay to a small bar for a drink. We were laughing and talking so much I didn't even see the cute Frenchman sitting nearby until he sent a beautiful red rose over to our table for me. Oh la la!

On another trip, I was in Florence and chose a restaurant that was something of a popular singles destination. I was sure some really handsome Italian man would be seated somewhere within flirting distance. You can imagine my dismay when the maistro seated a young couple and their toddler son right next to me. I was very disappointed in my bad luck, but I realized I had a choice: I could either be all pissy about the situation or make the best of it and be friendly. Well, I found that being friendly was definitely more fun and the little boy, Carlo, and I hit it off right away. We spent a delightful meal teaching each other the words for things in both English and Italian. His parents were thankful that their son wasn't making a scene in the restaurant and I was totally captivated by Carlo's pronunciation of English words.

On another journey to Paris, I went to a brand new Italian restaurant that was a block or two from my hotel. The concierge had told me that the very charming Italian man who owned the restaurant was staying at the hotel during the first weeks of the opening and that the restaurant was a big hit. Naturally "charming Italian man" had a certain appeal to me, and so I headed over to check things out.

I was greeted at the door by a man I figured was the owner; he certainly filled the description. I presented him with the card from the hotel and he broke into a beautiful smile; he led me to a table along the banquette with a perfect view of the entire room. All during my meal he was in constant attendance making sure my waiter was taking good care of me. As I sat enjoying my delicious meal, the restaurant began to fill up. Sitting right next to me was a young couple from Minneapolis who were on their honeymoon. Next to them was a table of five beautiful Japanese women. Somehow we all began talking with one another and my dining-alone experience turned into a party with everyone talking at once and sharing travel stories. The Japanese women didn't speak much English and were very shy, but by the time our meal was over they were chattering away like we had been friends for years.

Now, I know some of you might be clucking you tongue and thinking that you would never speak to strangers. After all, our mothers told us never to do that, right? But it seems to me our mothers meant something else—maybe "strange people." Suspicious people or threatening people. At least that's my dividing line, and I always talk to strangers, especially when dining alone.

JACQUELINE'S TIPS FOR DINING ALONE

1. Be sure to doll yourself up a bit for the evening. Wear fun or funky jewelry. Brighten up your travel dress or T-shirt and skirt with a colorful scarf or shawl. Put on some perfume and out you go.

2. Don't even be tempted to bring a book with you. It is absolutely not allowed to bury your nose in a book while dining, not even a guidebook.

3. Choose your restaurant carefully. Is the price right? The menu appetizing? The decor inviting? Are there other diners inside?

4. Be open and friendly. The owner and wait-staff want you to have a good experience. Rely on them to help you with the menu choices. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Make notes in your journal about dishes you particularly liked.

5. Take your time and savor every mouthful. Restaurants in Europe traditionally have only one seating per night. That means the table is yours for the whole evening. No need to rush.

6. Engage your neighboring diners in conversation. Sometimes I wait till the end of a meal; it seems people are more relaxed after they've eaten and more open to speaking with their neighbors. Be open and friendly. Use your "woman's intuition" about people. If they seem fine they probably are. If not, then you don't have to talk with them. If you don't share a common language, smiles and sign language often work like magic in sharing a dining experience.

7. When you have finished your meal and want to pay your bill, catch your waiter's eye and either nod or discreetly pantomime writing something on your hand. That is the usual signal for him to bring the bill. Never, ever, snap your fingers at a waiter and call out "garçon." That is the highest of insults.

8. In Europe, by law, all prices on menus must include the service (tip), but if you've enjoyed good service, leave another 5% or so on the table.

9. As you leave the restaurant, tell the maïtre d' that you've enjoyed your time there and be sure to pick up a card with the restaurant information on it. I usually tuck these cards into an envelope I paste in the back of my journal.

10. Enjoy your walk back to the hotel.